so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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