What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
