At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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