If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
