that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
