my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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