You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
