ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
