taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
