D3 body, D1 cock
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my poor anus
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
