Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
