She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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