I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
