Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
