Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
