ugly people sure do ruin things
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
