I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Two words: nipple clamps
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