I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
