What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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