He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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