You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
