I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
