There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize