I have demons in me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
