The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
