"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do herpes really smell.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
