Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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