Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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