those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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