I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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