are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
