i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
