Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize