We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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