I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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