i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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