I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
