i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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