i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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