Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
