??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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