booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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