i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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