What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
