nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
