Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
