Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
