I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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