I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
