I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
