Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
