Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
