I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
