i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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