oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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