I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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