Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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