i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
