How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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