Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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