She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
