We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
