wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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