tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You don't make any sense
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